The scream is not heeded to anymore and the painful cries are brushed aside, the bleeding cut lip is ignored and life is forced to continue as normal in a household struck hard by the whack of domestic violence. It’s a traumatic experience when one partner in a relationship starts to feel the need to physically dominate the other and uses force and blows for subjugation. They forget that it hurts!
Inequality of sexes
Need to control may arise from a few negative emotions like extreme protectiveness, distrust, low self-esteem, religious “must-dos” and acute anger but this takes on a nasty turn, when it takes the route of aggressive brutality. The desire to control another person and skepticism in equality of sexes is the root cause of domestic violence.
The partner domination can be in the form of physical, emotional or sexual ill-treatment of the other. Individual pathology, extremely stressful situations, or substance abuse can also lead to this extremely antagonistic response. A person acting under the influence of drugs or alcohol is unable to handle emotions and ends up encouraging sadistic activities just to gain control over the partner. The behavior may be supported by homophobic, prejudiced, racial, chauvinistic or sexist views.
The acutely wicked reaction may be triggered by a history of sadistic and brutal conduct seen in the family over the years. It could also be a result of traditional and cultural influence prevalent in the community. The bashings may just be to feel good element to be in power. Societies that are based on patriarchal traditions and believe in inequality of women account for innumerable cases of domestic aggression.
Internalizing behavior of idols
Kids sometimes experience acute incidents of physical and emotional beatings and they internalize this behavior as logical. They in turn belt out this behavior to their partners and their families when they grow up, as this is the only rational way they know how to act. The boys feel that being aggressive and violent is the perfectly correct way to resolve issues as they have seen this way out taken by the elders in their homes. Women on the other hand end up as victims of domestic violence if they have seen similar incidents in the past in their own family. This is actually a learned intentional way of performing.
People indulging in domestic violence often minimize their actions by blaming their reaction on something else. They refuse to take responsibility for their actions and believe that they have the right to control their partners and exercise their power over them. Belief systems permit violence in many cultures. This leads to a “violence” impasse” and there is no escape from the terror of bashings that end up being a part of many societies.
People value family commitments more than the safety of their own children and women and start to tolerate the violent acts. Men are crowned the superior most and they shove aside the needs of their family members. Any denials at the acceptance of authority lead to aggressive spats.